Andy Griffith

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Opie Taylor was a good boy. On t’other hand, he was an 11- year-old boy, which means he wasn’t all THAT good. He played hooky onc’t in a while, and he threw rocks at squirrels, and he knew some cuss words. But he didn’t use them in front of grown-ups. Of course, bein’ the son of Mayberry’s sheriff may have had something to do with that; when you’re the sheriff’s boy, seems everybody’s always watchin’ what you do.

But at heart Opie was a nice boy, so when his Aunt Bee asked him to take a peach pie over to Helen Crump — his teacher, and his Paw’s girlfriend, sort of — Opie did just that. He didn’t stick a finger in the pie, and he didn’t stop to join the ball game the other kids were having over at the school. He went straight over to Miz Crump’s house.

However, he wasn’t a perfectly nice boy, so when he came up to the house and heard some funny noises comin’ from out back, he didn’t knock on the front door, and he didn’t go back home, and he didn’t call out “Miz Crump! Got a pie for ya!” No, what he did was, he tippy-toed real quiet like around the side of the house until he found an open window that was where the sound seemed to be coming from. And he crawwwllled up to that window real slow, and he raised his head up to it reallll careful, and he looked in.

And what he saw was, Miz Crump was a-lyin’ on her bed. And she was naked as a plucked chicken. Only she looked a lot better than any ol’ chicken, and that was sayin’ some ‘cuz Opie really liked chicken. Opie always thought Miz Crump was pretty anyway, seein’ her in school and all; she had a real nice smile and smooth skin and her eyes was all sparkly-like. She was pretty old, though, maybe 30, Opie thought, but still good lookin’.

But what he didn’t know until he looked in that window was that the rest of her was as pretty as her face. On her chest was her breasts, only Opie didn’t know to call ’em that, but what he knew was they looked like two big ol’ cereal bowls upside down, with cherries on top, and on top ‘a the cherries was little nubbins what looked like the erasers on the ends of pencils — only Opie had chewed on some erasers in his time, and these looked they’d taste a powerful sight better.

Opie looked at those breasts a piece, but then he noticed the rest of her was naked too — white skin all curvy and wide hips and smooth,long legs and all. He couldn’t see between the legs, ‘cuz that’s where Thelma Lou was.

Thelma Lou was his Paw’s deputy Barney’s gal. She was a little shorter than Miz Crump and a little plumper and her hair was a little darker, but her butt was a lot bigger — or at least that’s what it looked like, kinda wavin’ in his face there. See, Thelma Lou was on her knees facin’ away from Opie, with her big ol’ butt a-wigglin’ in the air and her face buried between Miz Crump’s legs.

And the funny sound? Well, most of that was Miz Crump a- moanin’ and a-groanin’ and I don’t know what all. And Thelma Lou, she was makin’ some noise too, but it was kinda muffled soundin’ like.

Opie kept on watchin’, kinda what them city fellers call transfixed, I guess, a-holdin’ onto that peach pie in one hand and a-rubbin’ his penis with t’other.

Well, it musta gone on for long ’bout 15 minutes, I guess, afore Miz Crump, she started hollerin’ and buckin’ up and down, and the bed started in to shakin’ and creakin’ and such. Opie wasn’t perfect sure, but it sounded like Miz Crump was a- yellin’ “Oh, God!” and “Suck me! Suck me, Thelma! Faster!” and such like, which Opie didn’t think was real proper for a teacher-lady to be sayin’, ‘specially if it was one who was seein’ his Paw on a reg’lar basis. But he kept on a-watchin’, anyway, and then Miz Crump, she yelled out “I’m coming! I’m coming!”, which Opie thought was kinda funny, don’t ya know, ‘cuz she was right there on the bed and she wasn’t coming or going anywhere that he could see. In fact, after a bit more whoopin’ and hollerin’ and buckin’ up and down, she stopped doin’ much of anything. Thelma Lou, she crawled up on the bed there and kissed Miz Crump, and started a-rubbin’ herself on Miz Crump, kinda, and there were these two globes a-hangin’ down from her chest, looked like two big melons with two more of those eraser things on the ends, and those melons were jigglin’ and a-swayin’. Then Thelma Lou, she hollered some, and bucked some, and then she kinda collapsed all sudden like and they lay there awhile.

Opie, he was still a-rubbin’ himself, and feelin’ pretty good about it. But then Thelma Lou, she said as how she had to go meet Barney, and she got up and left, and Miz Crump, she got up too and went into the bathroom and closed the door, so Opie couldn’t see anymore, which was a shame on account a’ he hadn’t gotten to feel REAL good yet, if you know what I mean.

Now, like I said, Opie was a good boy but he wasn’t a perfect boy. So I guess that explains what happened next.

What happened next, was, he went back around to the front of the house, and he watched until Thelma Lou had left and gone out of sight, and then he waited a couple more minutes for Miz Crump to get out of the bathroom, and then when he figured he’d waited long enough he went up to the front door and he knocked on it.

Miz Crump, she come to the door, and she was looking all flushed, like she’d just been playing ball for a couple hours or somethin’. She was in this pretty red robe, clutching it around herself real tight. It was silky, y’know, and, well, she was holdin’ it so tight that he could see those two button things a- pushing out at the ends of her breasts. Well, she opened up the main door a bit, and she saw it was Opie, so she opened it all the way and just stood there with the screen door still closed, and said howdy. And Opie, he said howdy back. Only, of course, he said “Howdy, Miz Crump,” because he was a nice boy who didn’t take liberties with his elders.

Well, they talked a bit, and Miz Crump, she allowed as how she’d like that peach pie, and would Opie hand it over? But Opie, he kinda hemmed and hawed, and said as how maybe his Aunt Bee would need the pie plate back right away, so maybe he oughta come in and take care of it for her. Well, Miz Crump didn’t seem to cotton to that right away, but Opie was a- grinnin’ and such, so she let him on in.

So Opie, he come in, and went to the kitchen, and put that peach pie down on the table. And Miz Crump, she said he could take care of it and she’d just be in her bedroom changin’.

But Opie, he didn’t take care of that pie. No sir. No, he walked into the bedroom just as bold as you please, and there was Miz Crump, naked again. Opie got an even better look at her than through the window. She was quite a sight, too. Had a chest even bigger when she was standin’ up, and there wasn’t no sag at all. And he could see between her legs, too. She had a big ol’ patch o’ hair, all soft but kinda curly. And he could just about see right ‘tween her legs, a wet-lookin’, reddish kinda slit, there.

Miz Crump, she wasn’t at all glad to see Opie there a-lookin’ at her, no sir. First, she put her hands over her chest, to cover up. Then she musta thought about it a second, ‘cuz she put her hands over down ‘twixt her legs. Then she tried to cover up both parts at once, but that didn’t work out too good. So she give up and she just told Opie to get on out of there.

But he didn’t. And this is where the story gets kinda nasty, see. ‘Cuz Opie, he told Miz Crump that he saw what she and Thelma Lou was doin’. In detail. And he told her that she probably wouldn’t want his Paw to find out. Or the other folks in town. Miz Crump, she ‘llowed as how she wouldn’t.

So Opie, he says, “Well, what’re you goin’ to do about it?”

And Miz Crump, she says, “Well, what do you want me to do about it?”

And Opie, he says, “Come over here.” So she does. And he says, “Unbutton my jeans.” So she does. And he says, “Pull down my pants. And my shorts.” And she does.

And his cock, well it jumps out like a frog on a hot plate. It’s about as big around as a garden hose, and about as long as one of them pencils in school, before anybody’s sharpened it. And that cock, it kinda bounces around right in front of Miz Crump’s face, on account a’ she had squatted down to pull off Opie’s pants and shorts.

And Opie, he says, “Suck me.”

And Miz Crump doesn’t. At least, not right away. No, she says, “Young man, I think things have gone far enough. Now, I don’t know for sure what you think you saw, but I’m pretty sure no one you tell is going to believe you, whatever you say. So you just put your clothes back on and get right on out of here, this instant. Opie Taylor, you should be ashamed of yourself.”

Well, that coulda been the end of the story right there, only Opie, he wasn’t no fool. No sir. He’d watched the men at Floyd’s barber shop playin’ cards, and he knew what a bluff was. So he called it. He says, “OK, then, Miz Crump. I’ll go. An’ I’ll start tellin’ everbody I see what I saw you and Thelma Lou doin’. And maybe some of ’em won’t believe me. But I bet some of ’em will. And some of ’em that don’t, right off, why, they’ll get to wonderin’ how a little kid like me knows to make up stuff like what you were doin’. And then what d’you think?”

Miz Crump had to admit he had her there. So she reached out and she took hold of his penis, and she started strokin’ it, back and forth. And Opie, he says, “Not so fast. Slow. Like Thelma Lou was doin’ to you.” And so she slowed down, rubbin’ her hand up and down his big ol’ cock until it was thick and hard like a baseball bat. Only not so big.

And then Opie, he says, “Suck on it.” So she did. She made her lips into an “O”, and she put the tip of his cock up to her lips, and she pressed down, and it slid right in. And she sucked in so her cheeks hollowed out, and started movin’ up and down the shaft. And Opie, he never felt anything like that before. He started moanin’, real soft, and he reached down and grabbed Miz Crump’s breasts, one in each hand. And started caressin’ ’em, and squeezin’ her nipples, and moving his hips back and forth to press his cock deeper into her mouth. And he says, “Ohhhh, that’s good. You suck dick good, Miz Crump. I wonder if you ever did this to my Paw?” And she shook her head, which felt even better on his cock.

Anyway, she kept on a-suckin’ and a strokin’ until Opie felt a funny feeling in his balls and up his shaft and then he shot his wad right into Miz Crump’s mouth. And she swallowed every bit.

Well, then, Miz Crump gets off her knees, and she shakes her finger at Opie, and she says, “Now, young man, I’ve sucked your dick. You can go now.”

But Opie, he says he’s not finished. “Get on the bed,” he says. And Miz Crump, she starts to argue, but he gives her a look and she knows there’s no use. So she gets on the bed. And he takes off the rest of his clothes and gets up on the bed with her.

And he looks down, and he starts to get stiff again already! She was that good lookin’. But first, he lies down next to her and he kisses her. And he opens his mouth a bit, and sticks his tongue inside hers. Miz Crump, she tries to push him out, but he just keeps on and finally she gives in and tongues him back. And he starts his hands a-roamin’ over her body, over her breasts and her stomach and even sticks a finger in her pussy, down there. And Miz Crump is a-writhin’ and a-moanin’ and kissin’ him back for all she’s worth, and she’s got her hands a- roamin’ around Opie’s body, which is lean and hard — all over, I mean — and she even puts a hand on his dick and rubs it a little, too. But he pushes it away from there, ‘cuz he’s got other ideas.

And then he breaks away and moves down to her chest, and he licks and sucks on those breasts, kneadin’ them in his hands. And Miz Crump, she grabs one of his hands and she pulls it up to her face, and she starts lickin’ it, and suckin’ the fingers right into her mouth, one by one, and Opie, why his rod gets as stiff and big as ever.

And then he crawls between Miz Crump’s legs, and he looks down at her, and she’s a-smilin’ up at him, her eyes kinda shiny, and her hair all mussed up, and her breasts standin’ straight up with the nipples big and hard, and her pussy all wet and open for him. And Opie puts the tip of his penis right at the entrance, and he feels all the hot juices, and he pushes it in, real slow, until he feels the tip pop past the lips, and then he slides it in all the way. Miz Crump, she starts a-buckin’ and a- twistin’, but Opie, he pulls out and says, “No. I wanta take my time with this.”

And so he does. He slides his cock back into her pussy, feelin’ her lips close around the shaft and caress him all the way in, and begins to move it in and out, and in and out, and like that. And Miz Crump, she moves with him, her hips a- movin’ up and down. And she starts moanin’, “Oh, Opie, you’re so good! Opie, yes, fuck me! Oh, fuck me harder! Oh, all the way!” Which is like what she was moanin’ when Thelma Lou was doin’ her, but now Opie doesn’t mind so much, ‘cuz he’s moanin’ too. He’s a-sayin’, “God, Miz Crump, you’re so hot! I never figured a lady like you would be so tight! God, that feels so good! God, I’m gonna fuck you!” And he did.

He pushed his cock in and out some more, slow and then fast and hard and then slow again. And Miz Crump, she said, “Touch me down there! Put your finger in me. Just a little over to the left, up a litt… YES! YES! That’s it! O-PIE! Fuck me good! Harder! Fuck me! Put it deeper! Deeper! DEEPER!” And he did. And Miz Crump bucked her hips up and down, and Opie pushed in and out, and juices came a-squishin’ out of her hole, and her head was whippin’ back and forth on the pillow, and Opie was a-breathin’ hard and a-lickin’ her neck and puttin’ his tongue in his ear and I don’t know what all, but it was hot and it was nasty, yes sir.

And he said, “God, yes! Oooooooh! Oh, God! Miz Crump, you fuck great! You make me feel so good!” And then he got that feelin’ again, and he thought o’ somethin’ he’d heard Miz Crump yell, and he figured out what it meant, and he said, “I’m cummin! I’m cummmmmmiiiinnnn!” And he did.

And the jism, it boiled out of his balls and squirted through his rod and exploded into Miz Crump’s pussy like a fire hose. And he bucked and he screamed and then he shuddered and he stopped.

But Miz Crump, she didn’t. No sir. She kept on a-buckin’ and a-humpin’, and Opie, he was yellllllllin’, ‘cuz his dick was so tender and she was a-squirmin’ around on it, he thought he was plumb gonna die. And then, just when he was sure he couldn’t take no more, Miz Crump, she started shakin’ and shiverin’ like it was colder ‘n a witch’s whatsis, and like to bucked him right off the bed, but he held on, and it started to feel pretty good, and that kept on a couple of minutes, I guess, her buckin’, then stoppin’, then a-buckin’ again, afore she finally stopped all over.

And then Opie, he was plumb tuckered out, so he rested there awhile on top of her, with her sweat and his sweat a- pourin’ down like they was in a reg’lar swimmin’ hole. Finally, Opie, he gets up, and starts gettin’ dressed. And Miz Crump, she’s just a-layin’ there, lookin’ at him, kinda dazed, you know?

Opie, he says, “I’ll be back, you know,” and his voice kinda cracks, ‘cuz I think he was right there and then becomin’ a man, if you know what I mean. And Miz Crump, she says, “That’s right, Opie Taylor, you’re right, I haven’t paid enough for what I did. You should come back.” And then she smiles, and she says, “And I think Thelma Lou should have to pay, too, don’t you?”

Well, Opie, he allows as how that’s a good idea, and he grins so wide you’d think the ends of his smile would go clear ‘cross his head and meet on t’other side. And then he walks out and goes home, and he’s a-whistlin’ all the way. I think you’d know the tune, if I could do it for ya.



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